KNOW

It's important to understand the common practices of abusers and those who would harm you so that you understand the best practices to stop them.

How Offenders Operate:

• Access: The offender will need access to the child without raising suspicion.
• Privacy: The offender will need a private location where they can be alone with the child.
• Control: The offender will need the ability to control the child from a position of authority.

SEE

Learn to recognize the warning signs or behaviors that could signal ongoing abuse or a risk that abuse could happen in the future. Here are some signs of boundary violations to look out for:

Physical Boundary Violations:

• Tickling
• Horseplay
• Massaging
• Wrestling

Emotional Boundary Violations:

• Choosing favorites
• Acting possessive
• Sending excessive/inappropriate text messages

Behavioral Boundary Violations:

Offenders will manipulate kids into doing things they would not otherwise do, such as:

• Sneaking around/saying they'll be in one place when they're actually in another
• Keeping secrets with the offender

RESPOND

Take action in response to the behaviors you notice based upon the knowledge you have to prevent inappropriate or questionable behaviors. If you see warning signs from your child or hear something that sounds like abuse, report it immediately.

If your child tells you about sexual abuse or other inappropriate behavior, your response plays a big role in how your child understands abuse and how they recover:

• Stay calm.
• Comfort your child.
• Listen carefully.
• Ask for examples.
• Do not threaten/criticize the person your child is accusing.

If what you learn from your child, or what you observe or overhear during programming sounds like a boundary violation, suspicious/inappropriate behavior, or a policy violation, then interrupt the problematic behavior and explain the rule. We also encourage you to get in touch with a YMCA program director to make them aware of your concerns.

If you believe that a person is in immediate danger or at risk of harm, call 911.